Blue

Photo credit: Erica Deeman

Blue’s Happiest Moment

“Giving my parents Highschool Graduation Invitations and having them watch me walk the stage!”

Backing up a few months prior, This was in Frisco, I got into it with my parents. I wasn't handling my business. And this time, my Pops decided it was time for me to go and I agreed out of respect. I also had too much love and respect to continue on that same path under their roof especially with my two younger brothers under that same roof as well. I hit the door with my garbage bag of a few clothes, ziplock bags or cereal, and was out.

I was a Senior in High school (barley) homeless, sleeping on buses late night, in parks, to make it to school the next day. Also around that time I had gotten pretty sick for almost a week and a friend made me stay with them to help me get better and before I decided to get my ish together.

At that point in my life I thought I was living life. I had already had at least 30 homies I knew that had passed away and had my hands in all kinds of madness in addition to trying to push goodness out of them. It felt like I was always in the middle of something but still trying to push some positivity out if them, and willing to be the martyr in a situation to push the positive. I guess I figured I was living on borrowed time as is anyways. (My family was the 1 of 4 Black men would end up in jail or dead by 21. And although I had an older brother that chose the streets over us already, I had been kinda pushin’ the envelope in how I was living anyways, lol)

Anyways, once I decided to get my ish together, I squeezed in my make-up work, pulled a double major at my school, and was even able to pull a few business classes at San Francisco State University while still attending my high school (School of the Arts) which shared the same campus.

My Younger brother (by one year) Destine (Aka Off Top) was going to George Washington High school and was graduating. (Due to being held back in 4th grade we shared the same grade.) There was no way I was going to miss this dude walking the stage. He was the smartest of us three and he earned it. I showed up to his graduation with a bunch of Homies, saw my Baby Brother Demetrius (AKA Young time), my Parents, and my Grandma Dorothy. I hadn't seen my parents for months or communicated with them.

As far as they knew, I should have been graduating the same day too, but they didn't have their hopes up of that happening at all. I gave them (awkward) love and said what's up and watched my brother walk. At the end, I gave them love, let them know I had to bounce, and told them if they weren't too busy they were invited to attend my graduation as well a few hours from then and handed them their formal invites. Mannnnn, to see their faces!!! The love, them getting a positive surprise, and them (maybe) feeling some of the that love back they had been trying to extend to me.

That was priceless. The Homies knew I had that surprise for them too. My Grandma didn't know exactly what was going on but she could have broken her foot off in my butt at any moment and I would have deserved, understood, and welcomed it.

Graduation, the actual graduation was a crazy feeling too. When they called my name, folks stood up, I had Family there, homies there, teachers and (some) administration that were proud of me.

Some of the homies didn't make it to that mark, some didn't get their ish together workwise, one of the homies that walked also came back, sat down, said he couldn't believe he graduated opened open his diploma folder and found a note that said, See me Late!!!!" Like, Damn!!!! (He pulled it up in summer school). But the real reality was that some of the homies didn't survive/ didn't live to cross that mark and I was doing it.

I didn't think I'd survive to 16, or 18 and graduate. (Much less 21 to become older and being a Father myself.) That accomplishment, to give that Love, Respect, and Good Energy back to my parents and other folks in my corner was one of the happiest feel-good moments of my life.