Kim
Kim
What are you most proud of?
I'm most proud of my decision to walk away from what was not working to make space for better things. In November 2018, I gave two months advance notice at a job in a toxic environment with a culture that clashed with my personal values. I didn't know what was next, but I had to leave for my mental and physical well-being.
Two weeks before my last day, my world turned upside down. My father had an accident and was placed on life support; he died a few days later. It rocked my foundation, and while I yearned for stability in the midst of the uncertainty resulting from my loss, I stuck to my plan to leave my job. The one thing I did know was that nothing good would come from trying to grieve while working in a dysfunctional environment. All I could do was "Let go and let God."
I gained so much by letting go of the job and taking a substantial amount of time for myself:
1) Health and wellness: I rested, exercised regularly, and sought counseling for my grief journey. My physical appearance and my outlook on life improved dramatically. I'm a much more patient person today. I don't sweat the small stuff, as they say, because I have a better sense of what truly matters to me and what can and can't be replaced.
2) I redefined my personal relationships: I deepened connections with some acquaintances, who I now consider friends. They were the ones who could relate to and/or empathize with my emotional journey in the wake of my loss, and they supported my unpopular decision to leave my "safe" job in order to "figure it all out." They provided a safe space for me to express ALL of my emotions, without judgment. And I was forced to re-examine some relationships with long-time friends and family members. Some of these relationships no longer served me and others had to be redefined.
3) I found strength in vulnerability. I came full circle with an idea I'd sat on for several years, which was to create a community for adult "only children" who had come to realize that they would likely bear sole responsibility for helping their aging parents, and that this role reversal was quickly approaching. My dad's untimely death was the motivation to finally create this space. And without the chaos and busyness of my previous job, I had the capacity to make it happen.
I thought a podcast would be a great vehicle for building this community, so I attended a podcasting industry conference to learn more about them. During the conference, I took a leap of faith and entered podcast pitch contest. As a fairly private person, this was completely outside of my comfort zone. I phoned a friend an hour before the pitch so that I wouldn't back out. She advised me to be vulnerable. With that advice in mind, I showed up fully and shared my loss journey with an audience of ~100 strangers. I won the contest, which came with podcasting equipment and hosting services, and the judges offered me ongoing support. I launched the "Only Child Problems" podcast two months later.
4) A New Career Path. This led me to my current career path which is related to but broader than my podcast audience. I help professionals who anticipate being the sole or primary caregivers to their parents to strategically prepare for this future role without unwanted, costly sacrifices in their own lives or those of their parents.
My BIGGEST takeaways: 1) sometimes you have to let go of what's not working, to gain clarity about and make way for what DOES work. 2) When life hits you hard, reframe the question you ask yourself from "why is this happening to me?" to "what is this valley experience trying to teach me?" or "How could this be happening FOR me?"
