Self-Love: A Lifelong Journey
Self-Love: A Lifelong Journey
If you've been hearing this term as much as I have you may be wondering, what exactly does that mean? Or, how exactly do I cultivate self-love? Or even, why the f*ck does everyone keep talking about self-love? All valid questions.“Self-love is important for numerous reasons. It has a profound impact on how we see ourselves and how we treat ourselves”Kerri-Anne Brown, LMHCFirst, I think it's helpful to spend time to defining what the word love means for you.
When we define a word it helps us to practically apply it. I won't define love for you, but I will say that for me, it is action based. So, my on-going self-love journey includes exploring actions that feel loving and applying them toward myself. Many of us still have an understanding of and relationship to love that we inherited from the adults who raised us. It's important to reflect on this to make sure that we are aligned with the energies of love that resonate with who we are now. It's also important to think about the distinction between self-love and self-care.
For me, self-care has to be rooted in self-love or it feels superficially performative. This realization was the drive behind my commitment to learn how to love myself radically. It did not come easy for me. It still doesn't. Sometimes it's the hardest thing I choose to do. One thing I've learned so far though is that it is always worth it.
“Without self-love, you drastically decrease your ability to be successful at anything. Failed businesses, relationships, ideas, all stem from a lack of self-love"Tamica Sears. This journey takes time, and is an invitation for us to allow our understanding of self-love and our ability to apply it to evolve each day.Making space for something new usually means allowing things that no longer serve us to fall away.This can cause discomfort as we shed layers of ourselves and move toward a version of ourselves that we may have been dreaming of. Be patient with yourself.
Showing yourself grace throughout this process is a very important, and loving, practice. What does love feel like to you? How do you know that love is present in your life? When have you felt most loved? These are questions that can help us define love and apply it toward ourselves.
Spending time alone in meditation was a major factor for me. I also sought out and found facilitators that were able to help me explore actions that fall into this category and put the ones that resonated into practice.“I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you. That is like a naked person offering you a shirt (old African proverb)” Maya Angelou.
Here's some of the actions I explored when I began my self-love journey
Positive Affirmations
Watching my self-talk and intentionally choosing loving replacements
Mirror Gazing
Inner Child Healing
Meditation and MindfulnessSelect an area to comment on
Breathwork
Sensual Movement and Playfulness
Yoga
Mindful Moisturizing
Journaling
Intentional Rest
Time alone doing nothing or anything that brings me joy
How is your self-love journey going? Are you practicing any of the examples listed above? What other actions have you taken toward self-love? Which ones were the hardest?
Check out these resources if you haven’t already, and please share with us some of your go to’s.
Year of Yes: How to Dance it out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person by Shonda Rhimes
All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks
Compassion Meditation Challenge
