Lolita Fashion: The Black Edition

What is Lolita Fashion?

Some say youth is wasted on the young. Around here, we think that the youth have a great deal to teach us all. Let’s take Farih, who was born in the US and now lives in The Netherlands, after spending a year living in Germany. She helped school us on Lolita fashion, which originated in Japan but is now a global phenomenon. Farih also has shown us what it means to have the courage to be different.

First thing’s first. Lolita fashion has NOTHING to do with the Western Lolita concept based on the Russian novel. Instead it emphasizes modesty, elegance, and cuteness. Picture someone doing the absolute most while dressing up in a cross between a cute baby doll and a Victorian-era aristocrat.

So it’s no wonder that all around the world, there are folks who continue to be amazed and empowered by this notable form of dress. Now add a little black girl magic to it, and now we’re really cooking with grease.

Farih’s Words

I started wearing Lolita fashion two years ago, when I was 19 years old. During this time, I have received a lot of comments from friends, family, and strangers online and in real life. Many compliments, many questions, and some targeted hate. But the comments that affect me the most, are the ones where others tell me that they wish they could do what I do. Or that they didn’t know that we, as black people, could wear things like this. Or that they wish they had the confidence to look how they want to look.

I don’t think of myself as particularly brave or confident or fierce or inspiring, or any of the really kind compliments I have received. But I know, that it is scary to be different. And ignoring that fear and carrying on is a big deal.

As humans, we naturally want to belong. There is safety in numbers and being a part of a group can provide that. And willingly choosing to be different is even more scary, when society has already deemed you as different.

When you’re black, trans, queer, or anything other than the “norm.” It can seem like an additional target on your back. I don’t want to be exiled, either. But, there are already parts of my identity that mark me as different.

There are already so many places where I don’t belong. And I can’t really be bothered to try to mold myself to try to fit in better. I don’t want to surround myself with conditional acceptance, where everyone’s cool with me as long as I’m a certain way. Because, it always falls apart. I would love for everyone to follow their heart and express themselves, however they please. But, I know that’s not realistic for everyone, at the moment.

I believe that things are changing and improving every day. And one day, everyone will just mind their own business and let us all live our best lives.